Friday, January 27, 2012

The Worst Post You Will Ever Read.

Yeah, I know I haven't blogged in a while.  I have been busy.  I have been taking advantage of all of the free time I get (like 25 minutes a WEEK) by watching Toddlers & Tiaras and Keeping up with the Kardashians.  You think I'm joking, probably, but I'm not.  In the time that I was gone, I experienced the worst time of my life.

Have you ever had a broken heart?  I don't mean your 8th grade boyfriend broke up with you.  I mean literally your heart broke in half right down the middle, leaving jagged edges...  It freakin' sucks, dude.

On Friday, January 13 I woke up thinking "Today is Pay Day.  YEAH!  Today is Friday.  YEAH!  Today is Casual Day.  YEAH!  Today is a B-Day (we rotate schedules at school and B-Day is my favorite one).  YEAH!  I am deejaying my school's sock hop tonight.  YEAH!  Who said that Friday the 13th has to be a bad day?  I don't buy it."    Well, it turns out that less than an hour later, my heart was broken.

See, I have a thing about being a teacher.  I don't believe it is my "forever job".  But I do believe I am a teacher for a reason.  And that reason is that I love children.  I seriously have fallen in love with every single one of my students.  Even the annoying ones.  I try so hard every day to let them know that I love them.  Maybe some day I will be a foster parent or something, I don't know.  But I'm not a teacher to help kids learn (which is probably what most people think) and I'm not a teacher for money (because if I wanted more money, I would be an engineer), but I am a teacher because being around kids all day warms my heart right up and almost makes it want to explode.  If I ever have my own kids, who know what I will do.  I will love them so much I probably won't be able to breathe.

Well, I got to school the morning of Friday the 13th to find out that a sweet, beautiful 9 year old student had passed away a few hours earlier.

I was shocked.  I never thought it would happen.  And my heart just split in half.  I couldn't breathe.  I couldn't think.  I couldn't talk.  I couldn't even stand up.  I couldn't even cry right away.  I could honestly feel the heart tissue tearing apart right down the middle. 

I am happy to announce that I am much better now (exactly two weeks later).  I pondered writing a blog post about it every day but I couldn't until today for some reason.  I will probably write more about it later.  But I will leave you for now with her sweet picture...

1 comment:

  1. This is so sad. I'm so sorry to hear about your beautiful student. She was a cutie. I have a 9 year old daughter so this is really making me cry.