Have you ever had a broken heart? I don't mean your 8th grade boyfriend broke up with you. I mean literally your heart broke in half right down the middle, leaving jagged edges... It freakin' sucks, dude.
On Friday, January 13 I woke up thinking "Today is Pay Day. YEAH! Today is Friday. YEAH! Today is Casual Day. YEAH! Today is a B-Day (we rotate schedules at school and B-Day is my favorite one). YEAH! I am deejaying my school's sock hop tonight. YEAH! Who said that Friday the 13th has to be a bad day? I don't buy it." Well, it turns out that less than an hour later, my heart was broken.
See, I have a thing about being a teacher. I don't believe it is my "forever job". But I do believe I am a teacher for a reason. And that reason is that I love children. I seriously have fallen in love with every single one of my students. Even the annoying ones. I try so hard every day to let them know that I love them. Maybe some day I will be a foster parent or something, I don't know. But I'm not a teacher to help kids learn (which is probably what most people think) and I'm not a teacher for money (because if I wanted more money, I would be an engineer), but I am a teacher because being around kids all day warms my heart right up and almost makes it want to explode. If I ever have my own kids, who know what I will do. I will love them so much I probably won't be able to breathe.
Well, I got to school the morning of Friday the 13th to find out that a sweet, beautiful 9 year old student had passed away a few hours earlier.
I was shocked. I never thought it would happen. And my heart just split in half. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't talk. I couldn't even stand up. I couldn't even cry right away. I could honestly feel the heart tissue tearing apart right down the middle.
I am happy to announce that I am much better now (exactly two weeks later). I pondered writing a blog post about it every day but I couldn't until today for some reason. I will probably write more about it later. But I will leave you for now with her sweet picture...