Thursday, June 9, 2011

It's Been a Long Time

Tuesday was the one year anniversary of my Pap's death.  He was my mom's dad.  I did a few things.  First, I called mom and grandma.  Second, I sent grandma some pretty Spring-y flowers.  And I wore the dress that I wore to his funeral to school.  It's a really pretty dress and I never wear it because it reminds me of his funeral!  I have only worn it once!  So I figured that the anniversary was a good time to break it out of its shell :-)

Remember this post?  It was what I read at my pap's funeral last year.  I got that out and re-read that as well.  I had almost forgotten how comfortable I was with the whole situation until I read that. 

I had never, until last year, attended a church by choice on my own.  I had always gone to church with my mom and dad or just dad.  When I stopped going with them, I didn't really want to go.  Well, two Springs ago I attended a concert of Christian music that my dad was playing in.  I basically went to support my dad.  When I got there, I was in awe of the affect it had on me.  I knew I needed to start going to church for me.  That summer, I attended Chestnut Ridge Church with a friend.  I immediately fell in love and knew that it was my home.  I also joined a small group of girls in a bible study weekly.  That church practically saved my life.  When I moved, I was devastated.  I was absolutely certain that I would never find a church to replace it.  I still haven't, by the way.  I kept wondering why this awesome thing showed up in my life only to be taken away!

I honestly believe that Chestnut Ridge Church was put in my life to prepare me for the death of my Pap.  If I hadn't been so spiritually strong and mature at that point, I would have never been able to handle his illness and death immediately before my wedding.

It was still hard, though.  It, along with the death of my best friend's father when I was a sophomore in college, was the single-most life changing event of my existence.  (Sorry, Josh, I know our wedding was great and all, but my life is practically the same since!). 

Along with my pap's illness and my wedding and my first year of teaching, my brother was going through some things that made a big emotional impact on my whole family.  It was definitely the most stressful time of my entire life and if it hadn't been for my church, Josh, my bible group, and my relationship with God, I would have never made it through it.

This song really helped me a lot.  This song is what reminded me that it was okay to have a burden, but it was important to give my burden away and let Him handle it.  I ultimately did that, and He took care of it!

All of Creation, by Mercy Me.  The words that struck me and allowed me to trust someone else were:

and all of creation sing with me now

lift up your voice and lay your burden down

and all of creation sing with me now

fill up the heavens let his glory resound

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